Archive for the ‘Motivation’ Category

I know I’ve written on the distinction of diet vs lifestyle before, but I don’t know that I was really listening.  It’s kind of like the new trend, ya know?  Diets are bad.  Diets don’t work.  Everyone from Weight Watchers to Lifestyle Coaches are telling you that diets don’t work and that a diet isn’t the answer.  And, then they offer you their very nicely packaged “lifestyle”.  Well, I think it’s really just a matter of semantics for me.  I am not really embracing a new lifestyle.  I am starting a diet.  My goal is to lose weight and I think that the way I’m going to do that is by dieting - restricting my eating in some fashion in order to get the results that I want.  I also hold the belief that once I reach my goal weight, I’ll be able to eat what I want - in moderation.  That’s what “they” keep telling me any way.  And I’m pretty fed up (haha, funny metaphor).

I am realizing that it really is about embracing a lifestyle.  So, I am spending some time thinking about and journaling about who I want to be.  I’m am really looking deeply into that.  I’m asking myself who I am, who I want to be, what I want, what habits support being like this and what habits don’t.  I am looking at, instead of going on a diet, creating a structure for staying connected to who I am and who I am becoming and practicing the habits that support that and letting go of the habits that don’t.  Sounds easy, right?  So, let’s go.

I have had a couple good days back on my plan and I am becoming brilliant again.  My mindset is shifting back into weight loss mode.  I have to admit that I wasn’t really there, but I just started on my way.  Sometimes, I think I’ve got to get my mindset all sorted before I start taking action.  It’s kind of like thinking that you need to lose weight before you start exercising.  I know this sounds crazy to sane people, but it makes perfect sense to those of us who have spent a life time making excuses.  It’s the same kind of thinking that supports the idea that I can diet, exercise, meditate, blog, insert your goal here, just as soon as my life calms down, I lose some weight, I make some money, the kids aren’t sick, or insert your excuse here.  The thing that I am celebrating more than anything else today is that I didn’t feel centered or organized or in the right “head space” to get back on my diet, but I did it anyway.  I just put one foot in front of the other and kept at it until I was back on.  It legitimately took me several days to get through a whole day on my plan, but I made it because I just kept beginning again NOW, rather than planning to begin again tomorrow or next Monday or on the 1st.  I think that this is really good advice that carries over to all areas of life.  I guess there’s a reason Nike’s “Just Do It!” campaign is so popular.  What I have learned from just doing it, is that doing it is what creates the mindset, rather than the other way around.  I’ve always thought that the mindset was what enabled me to “do it” (whatever “it” is).  And, I am really inspired to find that doing it is what creates the momentum, the inspiration and the motivation.  I’m such a big fan of “Just Do It!” today that I might go buy myself some new Nikes to show my appreciation.

Oh, here’s another one that I’m not in love with any more. It used to be fun and now it’s not. I want to be a 36B. That is the size that you can always find in a bra. Of course, that’s also my fantasy size. I’m not one of those women who wants huge breasts. I’m also not one of those women who wants a boob job. I can tell you that my breasts are less than perfect and I actually, truly and honestly love them just the way they are. My pre-pregnancy breasts were a beautiful, perky size 36B. When I got pregnant, the Booby Fairy came. My husband was thrilled and it was fun to have some cleavage and to be able to actually fill out a bra that wasn’t a demi cup. Cleavage has definitely been one of the benefits of gaining weight. I’ve got something to work with here. So, I’ve delivered and nursed four babies. I’ve got stretch marks and a little sagging going on and I really don’t mind it. Oh, and my nipples are HUGE. I do love perky, little nipples, but that isn’t something that losing weight is going to change. It’s so funny, though, because my best friend and I compare breasts and I just love hers and she loves mine. I know that sounds funny, here on the internet, but I’m sharing it because we often think that someone else’s body parts are more perfect than our own. I think the magic is to see the beauty in all of our bodies. We are trained (through advertising, media and what-not) that breasts are supposed to conform to a particular “norm”. The “normal” is actually a broad range of beautiful, which includes what normally happens to our breasts as we gain and lose weight, have babies and age.

So, when I say that I wish I was a 36B, that’s more because 36Bs are easy to find in every size and style. I could more easily wish for a bigger selection of bras and sizes to be available. I’m also tired of larger bras (and clothing, for that matter) being matronly, boring and utilitarian. Seriously, I think the “full figured” woman probably likes a sexy bra more than the next girl. I do admit that I don’t want to sacrifice comfort either. I’ve bought many a pretty or sexy bra that I’ve ended up not wearing more than once or twice because it is so terribly uncomfortable.

Well, today, I actually followed Tracey’s advice and measured myself to find a good fit before I went out to try bras on. This was an extremely useful step after having lost 40 pounds and really having no idea what size bra will be appropriate. If you don’t know how to get the perfect fit, try the following method:

1. Measure around your chest, just under your breasts. This is your NUMBER: 34, 36, 38, etc. (keeping in mind that “etc” is very hard to find)
2. Measure around the fullest part of your breasts. The difference between this number and your size, indicates your CUP size. If the difference is 1″, then you need an A, 2″=B, 3″=C, 4″=D, etc (again, keeping in mind, that “etc” is hard to find).

So, I bought myself a couple of bras today, mostly because I have a dress to wear tomorrow night and I didn’t have a strapless or halter bra that would work with it. So, now I do. I am happy to report that I am back in the realm of “normal” sized bras. I didn’t shop for anything but strapless and halter today, but I am going to treat myself to some cuter bras as a treat when I get to my 50 goal. In fact, I’m going to go on a real nice shopping spree and splurge a little in celebration.

Weight loss is one of many goals that people have that are “end result” goals.  We want to get somewhere; we want to reach a goal.  The question that is really interesting to ask is “why?”  Normally, we want to lose weight, get rich, get out of debt, get married, have a baby, climb a mountain, become an ironman, stop smoking or whatever, not because we actually want that thing.  We really want how we think it will make us feel.  So ask yourself, how do you want to feel?

For me, I want to lose weight for a lot of reasons.  I want to feel confident, be proud of myself, like (or love) my body, feel sexy, feel attractive, feel fit, feel healthy.  These are some of the basics.  I could get more specific.  I could go into a lot more reasons.  But, this is basically how I want to feel.  Well, guess what?  I don’t actually have to lose weight to feel like that.  I have to change the way I live in order to feel like that.

Let’s take just one example.  I want to feel sexy.  Well, let’s see, I guess the oversized stretch pants with the little holes in the seams of the inner thighs are going to have to go.  I need to do things that make me feel sexy.  I feel sexy when I start my day with a shower and scrub with a fluffy sponge and body wash.  Shaving my legs makes me feel sexy.  Putting on lotion makes me feel sexy.  I also feel sexy when I take some time to style my hair and put on make up and jewelry.  What kind of underwear and bra I wear also contributes to whether I feel sexy or frumpy.  Wearing tight jeans, rather than those horrible stretch pants, also makes a difference.  Having a pedicure and wearing cute flip flops or strappy sandals is sexier than stuffing my feet into athletic shoes.  You see what I mean?  I didn’t have to lose weight in order to feel sexy.

This is just one example, though.  If I started looking at all the different ways I want to feel and what I need to do in order to feel them, I would make some changes in my life.  And, those changes actually lead to my goals.  BEing sexy, confident, healthy, fit, awake and in love with my body all lead me to having the body that I want, not the other way around.  So take a look at how you want to feel and start doing what you need to do in order to feel the way you want to feel.  And, watch your goals move effortlessly closer.

Something amazing and miraculous has been happening since I started my weight loss journey and this blog.  I imagined that I might inspire some people, but I had no idea how or how many or what the result of that would be.  What I am finding out is that my commitment and my openness about my process has really touched and moved a lot of people and that the impact of that is that a lot of people are losing weight and getting healthy as a result.  I do think this is super cool, but it’s not why I’m writing about it.  What I am noticing is that my actions, decisions and commitments have a huge impact on others.  One of the things that I used to say about my weight was that I wasn’t really hurting anyone but myself with my eating habits, food choices and how I chose to live in my body.  I am a pretty healthy person and I’m a fairly attractive woman despite my weight.  And I realize that I was thinking that my weight and my choices didn’t really hurt anyone else.  And, I’m now seeing that that probably isn’t true.  By being on the other side and noticing how many people are inspired and how many people will stand up for themselves and their health around me, I’m realizing that I was creating the opposite effect before.  I was making it safe for people to be fat.  I was making it safe for people to eat poorly.  I was creating environments where over eating was acceptable and where stuffing feelings with food was a good idea.  I was teaching other people to use food to express love, to anesthetize themselves against their hurts and to energize themselves when they were stressed out or over tired.  THAT is impact.  It’s an impact that I didn’t even know I was having and that I don’t want to be having!  Instead, I am now inspiring people to action.  I am helping people to acknowlege their feelings and feel them.  I am teaching people to rest, to celebrate and to love independently of food.  I am encouraging people to stand up for their choices and their health.  I am setting a new standard.  I am leading my family, my friends and my community to a healthier, fitter, thinner, happier lifestyle.  All this by being the change that I want to see in the world.  I guess Ghandi really knows what he’s talking about after all.