Archive for the ‘Lose it!’ Category

This post is dedicated to Cindy, my girlfriend who forces herself to eat breakfast because of the prevailing dieter’s wisdom.

I am a good American girl.  I eat breakfast every day.  My mother would not let us walk out of the house without breakfast and I make sure that all of my kids get breakfast every day, too.  And, I’m smart and pay attention in school and perform well on tests.  AND, I’m overweight and three of my four kids are all fighting weight issues, too.  My husband drinks coffee for breakfast and my skinny 18 year old prefers not to eat breakfast.  I also know people who force themselves to eat breakfast because they think it’s what they’re supposed to do.  And, EVERY diet I have ever been on starts with “don’t skip breakfast” or “here’s what you eat for breakfast”.  Well, I’m trying something new - new for me anyway.  I’m skipping breakfast.  Seriously, now that I think about it, breakfast is a joke.  Bacon and eggs with toast and butter or a bowl of cereal with milk.  I think we can all agree that is not a good formula for maintaining a healthy weight.  So, let’s look at my “diet breakfast”.  I’ve done everything from bagels (loved the “fat free” days in the 80s), bacon and eggs (thank you Atkins), steel cut oats with fruit, nuts and flax seed oil, fresh squeezed grapefruit juice, protein shakes, etc.  Oh, it makes me hungry to think about.  Hungry.  What an interesting idea.  It’s after 10 am and I am just now thinking that I might possibly be getting hungry.  I was not hungry at 6:30, 7:30 or 8:30 when breakfast is what is supposed to happen.  And when I do eat breakfast, I am generally hungry mid-morning.  And, then I have a whole new food conversation about snacks.  It’s exhausting and it’s no wonder I am behind in the laundry.  I eat (and feed my kids) so that I won’t get hungry later.  I’m running from my fear of hunger.  I don’t think I’ve been hungry except for maybe a handful of times in the past 20 years.  I would venture to say that most of us don’t even know what hungry feels like.

So, I’m experimenting with giving up breakfast.  I figure it can’t hurt.  I know all the sane dieter’s wisdom says that skipping breakfast sets me up to be ravenous at lunch and doesn’t give my metabolism a chance to start working and all that.  Well, let’s see what happens.  So far, so good.

I’m sure you all remember my love and affection for Diet Coke.  Okay, addiction.  It’s the one thing that was on my 1st Personal Diet plan that I was allowed to have that made me feel like I was cheating.  It was my guilty pleasure that I got to indulge in every day.  Especially in the beginning, it was such a big deal because I wasn’t allowing myself to have Diet Coke for all the reasons that you’ve heard.  I know it’s bad for me, blah, blah, blah.  So, being able to include something that felt like a cheat was actually really helpful.

From a coaching perspective, I have recently explored this as being able to hold polarities or inconsistencies and include both sides of an idea.  It’s way better than denial of the “less popular” perspective.  Instead of denying that there is a part of me that wants to, loves to and longs to cheat on my diet, it is very helpful to include the idea - to find the gift in it and how it serves me.  It helps to explore what values are being honored and what values I have that need to be included in the journey that I am on.  Instead of trying to shift my values so that I honor my health and fitness over choice and freedom, I can find ways to honor choice and freedom at the same time as health and fitness.  Pretty cool!  And pretty effective!

And, today I am also embracing my sexy, happy, healthy body and looking for what she wants and needs.  And it makes me think about the fact that people who maintain their ideal weight, don’t drink Diet Coke (or eat diet food or go on diets or a lot of the other crazy things that I have been doing in order to attempt to reach my ideal weight).  So, today, I gave up Diet Coke again because skinny girls don’t drink Diet Coke, especially the skinny girl that I want to be.  I will indulge in other ways - like skinny girls do.  WWSG do?  What would skinny girls do?  I know - it’s  a little irreverent, especially on a Sunday.  And, I’m cool with being irreverant because it’s better than finding one more way to “sell my soul to the devil” in order to reach my ideal weight.

I know I’ve written on the distinction of diet vs lifestyle before, but I don’t know that I was really listening.  It’s kind of like the new trend, ya know?  Diets are bad.  Diets don’t work.  Everyone from Weight Watchers to Lifestyle Coaches are telling you that diets don’t work and that a diet isn’t the answer.  And, then they offer you their very nicely packaged “lifestyle”.  Well, I think it’s really just a matter of semantics for me.  I am not really embracing a new lifestyle.  I am starting a diet.  My goal is to lose weight and I think that the way I’m going to do that is by dieting - restricting my eating in some fashion in order to get the results that I want.  I also hold the belief that once I reach my goal weight, I’ll be able to eat what I want - in moderation.  That’s what “they” keep telling me any way.  And I’m pretty fed up (haha, funny metaphor).

I am realizing that it really is about embracing a lifestyle.  So, I am spending some time thinking about and journaling about who I want to be.  I’m am really looking deeply into that.  I’m asking myself who I am, who I want to be, what I want, what habits support being like this and what habits don’t.  I am looking at, instead of going on a diet, creating a structure for staying connected to who I am and who I am becoming and practicing the habits that support that and letting go of the habits that don’t.  Sounds easy, right?  So, let’s go.

I have had a couple good days back on my plan and I am becoming brilliant again.  My mindset is shifting back into weight loss mode.  I have to admit that I wasn’t really there, but I just started on my way.  Sometimes, I think I’ve got to get my mindset all sorted before I start taking action.  It’s kind of like thinking that you need to lose weight before you start exercising.  I know this sounds crazy to sane people, but it makes perfect sense to those of us who have spent a life time making excuses.  It’s the same kind of thinking that supports the idea that I can diet, exercise, meditate, blog, insert your goal here, just as soon as my life calms down, I lose some weight, I make some money, the kids aren’t sick, or insert your excuse here.  The thing that I am celebrating more than anything else today is that I didn’t feel centered or organized or in the right “head space” to get back on my diet, but I did it anyway.  I just put one foot in front of the other and kept at it until I was back on.  It legitimately took me several days to get through a whole day on my plan, but I made it because I just kept beginning again NOW, rather than planning to begin again tomorrow or next Monday or on the 1st.  I think that this is really good advice that carries over to all areas of life.  I guess there’s a reason Nike’s “Just Do It!” campaign is so popular.  What I have learned from just doing it, is that doing it is what creates the mindset, rather than the other way around.  I’ve always thought that the mindset was what enabled me to “do it” (whatever “it” is).  And, I am really inspired to find that doing it is what creates the momentum, the inspiration and the motivation.  I’m such a big fan of “Just Do It!” today that I might go buy myself some new Nikes to show my appreciation.

I’m not surprised, but I’m also not thrilled.  I weighed in today after being away from my scale for two weeks.  I count it as a significant win that I actually got back on the scale because I really, really didn’t want to.  It’s a good tool, though.  It just tells the facts without any commentary.  I have gained 5.4 pounds in the last two weeks!  Oh, that sounds so bad to me.  Yeah, I have a lot of commentary to offer.  Instead, I’m going to focus on what’s great about me and my body and my plan.  I think one of the bad habits I’ve really fallen back into is beating myself up and saying horrible things to myself and I’m committed to changing that.  One of the things I know about when I started this journey is that a lot of the energy and momentum came from being very clear and aware of what is true and loving myself because of it, rather than in spite of it.  So, that is where I am going back to today.

What is true is that I am no longer 100 pounds over weight, but I am still over 60 pounds over weight.  This is actually a significant shift.  Maybe, I should change the name of my blog to “My Sixty Pounds”.  I’m not going to.  But, I am reframing my journey.  I am sixty pounds over weight.  I am a loving, passionate, giving person.  I actually give too much.  I am not super clear about my boundaries and I over give of my time and my energy.  I haven’t been great at noticing that I am tired or that I need to slow down.  And, I am very, very tired and I, not only need to slow down, but I want to slow down.  One of the things that vacation is good for is resetting priorities.  I realize that I spend a lot of time and energy in my life running.  I’m running around helping people and organizations and causes.  I’m running toward my goals.  I’m running away from my pain.  You’ll love this!  The night we left for vacation, I told my mom, “Oh, my gosh!  I am so tired!  My feet hurt and I’m exhausted!  I’ve been running around like crazy all day!”  My mom said, “Sweetheart!  You have been running around like crazy for your whole life!  Slow down, honey!  You’re wearing us all out just watching you!”  I LOVE my mom and I think she is one of the smartest and most generous people I know.  And, I’m going to take her advice.  I’m slowing down.  I’m reassessing all the running around that I’m doing and I’m choosing only to do the things that pass the test of “my cornerstones”.  My cornerstones are 4 guiding principles that I use for making decisions.  My cornerstones are:  Easy, Fun, Win-Win-Win, On Purpose.  My diet is easy.  Just follow it, period.  My diet is fun!  It’s actually fun to weigh and measure my food (it appeals to my scientific tendencies).  It is super fun to blog.  And I can’t think of anything more fun than losing weight every week.  The Win-Win-Win is that I win, my family wins, I hope you win and I hope that the work I am doing goes to inspire, influence and help other people to find their own ways to lasting freedom around food.  And, on purpose.  We’ll I definitely have a big purpose here.  I actually have 100 little ones.  I have a list of 100 reasons why I want to lose weight, one per pound.  So, my plan passes through my cornerstones and I’m looking to make sure that the rest of my life does too.  And, I am also looking to create a bunch of space to slow down in.

Note:  If you are interested in the idea of Guiding Principles or Cornerstones, I encourage you to develop yours.  They will be different than mine.  Brainstorm what is most important to you.  It can be helpful to look at your values.  If you need some help, let me know.