Posts Tagged ‘diet coke’

I’m sure you all remember my love and affection for Diet Coke.  Okay, addiction.  It’s the one thing that was on my 1st Personal Diet plan that I was allowed to have that made me feel like I was cheating.  It was my guilty pleasure that I got to indulge in every day.  Especially in the beginning, it was such a big deal because I wasn’t allowing myself to have Diet Coke for all the reasons that you’ve heard.  I know it’s bad for me, blah, blah, blah.  So, being able to include something that felt like a cheat was actually really helpful.

From a coaching perspective, I have recently explored this as being able to hold polarities or inconsistencies and include both sides of an idea.  It’s way better than denial of the “less popular” perspective.  Instead of denying that there is a part of me that wants to, loves to and longs to cheat on my diet, it is very helpful to include the idea - to find the gift in it and how it serves me.  It helps to explore what values are being honored and what values I have that need to be included in the journey that I am on.  Instead of trying to shift my values so that I honor my health and fitness over choice and freedom, I can find ways to honor choice and freedom at the same time as health and fitness.  Pretty cool!  And pretty effective!

And, today I am also embracing my sexy, happy, healthy body and looking for what she wants and needs.  And it makes me think about the fact that people who maintain their ideal weight, don’t drink Diet Coke (or eat diet food or go on diets or a lot of the other crazy things that I have been doing in order to attempt to reach my ideal weight).  So, today, I gave up Diet Coke again because skinny girls don’t drink Diet Coke, especially the skinny girl that I want to be.  I will indulge in other ways - like skinny girls do.  WWSG do?  What would skinny girls do?  I know - it’s  a little irreverent, especially on a Sunday.  And, I’m cool with being irreverant because it’s better than finding one more way to “sell my soul to the devil” in order to reach my ideal weight.

I think that I have spent most of my life clinically dehydrated.  When I was eating mostly processed and prepared foods, I wasn’t getting a lot of water from my food.  Sure, there’s water in fruits and vegetables, but I wasn’t eating primarily fruits and vegetables.  Now, I eat vegetables 3 times a day with every meal, even breakfast.  I also eat 2 or 3 pieces of fruit every day.  That really helps with my hydration.  I still notice that I’m hungrier when I don’t get all my water in, though.

I’ve heard a lot of different recommendations on how much water a person should drink.  Of course, we all know the standard 8 glasses a day.  Well, that there is a lot of glasses to keep track of (have I had 5 or 6 - I’ve lost track). And what exactly is a “glass” anyway?  I know, I know - 8 ounces.  Who drinks out of 8 ounce glasses, though?  My glasses are at least 12 ounces and we drink water out of one quart jars.  So I only need to drink two of those a day?  Okay.  I’ve also heard that you should drink half your body weight in water every day.  So, I should drink over 100 ounces of water a day.  That sounds like a lot.  Maybe it’s only about 3 of those jars.  My current plan calls for 2 liters of water a day.  I remember how much I hated the metric system when I learned it in elementary school.  Gosh, I can’t tell you how much easier I think the metric system is now.  I really prefer to drink liters instead of ounces.  I like the one liter Smart Water bottles.  I drink one, refill it and then drink another one and I’m done.  I play this game with myself.  I don’t let myself have a Diet Coke until I’ve finished my first liter of water.  Then, I drink the second liter after.  Sometimes, I don’t finish the second liter because I haven’t made a good enough incentive.  But, I notice that I am more likely to get hungry or have food cravings when I haven’t had all of my water.  It’s a good thing to remember.  The water really helps.

Oh, I love donuts!  At least, I think I do.  I can’t remember the last time I had a donut.  It’s one of those things that I stopped letting myself eat a long, long time ago.  Of course, I would sneak them every now and then.  I don’t know what it is about donuts that’s so great.  I think it’s a magical combination of things.  To start with, there is the dough, the sugar and the fat.  Always a winner.  But, there’s more.  I think it’s also that they have no redeeming qualities.  They’re just bad.  And sometimes I just want to be bad.  And I don’t really let myself be bad in my life.  I generally follow “the rules” and behave like a “good girl”.  It’s a little bit sad and crazy that my version of “bad” is eating donuts.  I remember one night when I was 15, me and two friends (one being a boy that I was secretly in love with) snuck out and went and ordered a dozen donuts at 2am and ate the whole box.  It was the “perfect” bad donut experience. I supp0se I could have been doing a lot of worse things with a boy at 2am…

Anyway, I’m thinking that, after 10 weeks of no sugar, a donut might send me into a coma or something.  I am not really craving donuts.  If I think about it, a donut sounds disgusting.  But, I imagine that I will want to rebel again at some point.  I will want to “be bad”.  Since I’m not expressing my need to be naughty with food, I wonder what’s happened to it.  I don’t think it’s totally gone away.  I really think the blogging is helping, even though it isn’t really naughty or bad.  I wonder if there was something underneath the need to be bad.  I wonder if it was something about always trying to look perfect and trying to be the good girl and knowing that I’m not and having to express that in some way.  Maybe admitting that I’m not perfect and being totally transparent about it all here on the internet alleviates some of the pressure.  I don’t know.  Maybe I’m indulging in other things, but I can’t really think of what.  Oh!  Diet Coke!  For sure, I am indulging in that and that still feels bad and naughty and I let myself have one every day.  But, really, I’m not feeling such a strong desire to rebel against my life or rebel against myself and my rules.  Maybe I don’t have as many rules as I used to.  Maybe I’m just letting myself be myself.  I am definitely not hiding so much any more.  Maybe that’s why donuts are less appealling.

One of the things that I’ve been careful about is not letting myself get over  hungry.  I used to be a classic meal skipper.  I would eat a little something for breakfast and then I wouldn’t eat again until late afternoon or dinner because I was too busy.  Then I’d be ravenous and I’d eat my way through the rest of the afternoon or evening.  I am remembering that today because I got too busy to eat lunch when I normally would and when I went to eat lunch at 2pm, I was super hungry.  Suddenly my 115 grams of tuna (about 3/4 cup) and 100 grams of sliced cucumbers (about 15 slices) didn’t really sound very satisfying.  I opened the fridge and started looking.  And started attempting to justify a little diversion.  There are left over pork chops in the fridge - you know, with Shake n Bake on them.  I could justify it because pork is protein.  However, pork isn’t on my approved list of foods to eat right now.  Shake n Bake is definitely not on my plan!  Really, cold pork chops aren’t very good.  But, then I started thinking about what would be good.  I have a long list of things I am starting to miss and to long for after 5 and a half weeks of excellence.  One of my kids just made a grilled cheese sandwich and I may have to go outside because the smell is intoxicating.  Bread… cheese… butter… what a perfect combination.  All that’s missing is some chocolate and red wine and my diet would be complete.  Well, I ate the tuna and cucumbers.  I did not succumb to the many temptations in my house.  I also think that Friday night of a holiday weekend makes me want to celebrate and “take a break” from my diet.  This is what I would typically do, promising to get back on track on Monday.  Well, in honor of Independence Day, I am celebrating my freedom.  I am celebrating my freedom to take care of myself.  I am celebrating my freedom from compulsive and out of control eating.  I am celebrating my freedom to live well in my body.  So, I’m going to go eat an apple and 4 saltines and drink the rest of my water.  And, I will treat myself to a Diet Coke and a movie tonight.

I know I dropped off the face of the earth for a day, but I didn’t go AWOL on my diet!  I’m still here and I’m still doing great!  In fact, I’m away for the weekend.  I am assisting in a coaching course in San Francisco.  I planned to write yesterday, but my travel schedule and some minor technical difficulties got in the way.  I’m all sorted out and I have some fun new learning to share.  

I LOVE to travel - any where, any time!  It is so much fun for me.  And I love road trips.  So, I drove to San Francisco from Los Angeles last night.  I had a tremendously busy day getting ready to be gone for the weekend and I got a late start.  I got on the road at 6pm.  I had to stop for gas before I headed out of town AND I hadn’t eaten dinner yet.  Ooh, travel plus road trip = junk food, right?  Well, it normally does for me.  Any travel is an excuse to eat junk I wouldn’t normally eat.  I really like to nosh on peanut M&Ms while driving.  And, it’s a long trip, so stopping for some fast food along the way is generally a part of my plan, too.  If I’m being “good” and foregoing fast food, I would normally plan to stop for a meal at a restaurant.  I pretty much eat my way to my destination and through my trip.  

Well, I’m doing it differently this time.  I packed some food for my trip.  My parents (who are watching the boys) were highly amused that I was cutting and weighing celery, cucumber and chicken and packing it to go.  My mom said, “Oh, Carrie!  It’s celery!  You’d think you could eat as much as you want!”  And, while they were amused and teasing me a little, I could tell that my parents were both really proud of me.   And my mom has admitted that she is inspired by my weight loss journey.  That is a GREAT feeling!  That is WAY better than M&Ms.  So, I ate my cold chicken and celery for dinner in the car.  I did stop for a Diet Coke, a guilty pleasure that is totally allowed on my plan.  And, instead, I over indulged in Michael Jackson songs all the way to San Francisco.  

Now that I’m here, I have a whole new set of challenges, beginning with breakfast.  I LOVE to order room service for breakfast and dinner.  I love to treat myself to a special meal like eggs benedict with hash browns and a hot tea (hotels often have really delicious tea) or a steak and potato and a glass of red wine (and maybe dessert).  Enjoying a good meal and movie in my room is my idea of a lovely evening.  I also have a bunch of dear friends in San Francisco and the surrounding area.  I love to meet up with them and go out to eat - and are there ever excellent places to eat in San Francisco!  Well, I am quite busy helping with the course and really committed to staying on my plan so I chose not to meet up with my friends for meals.  I also turned down some breakfast and dinner invitations, but I have been enjoying lunch out with the leadership team.  Turning down social eating is still a challenge for me.  I really want to go, but I really want to lose 1oo pounds more.  Dinner was also a little challenge tonight.  I came back to my room and I was hungry and I sat and read the room service menu from cover to cover several times before I decided to eat the boring, pre-measured food that I brought with me.  I had a little longing for a good, hot meal.  I wanted to treat myself special.  So, I went and got a pedicure.  Go Carrie!  $21 for an hour of pleasure and relaxation and now my toes look great!  That is way better than room service.  I can’t take complete credit for the brilliant idea.  Getting a pedicure was actually my homework tonight given to me by one of the brilliant coaching students in my class.  Yeah, coaching is fun!