Posts Tagged ‘moderation’

I know I’ve written on the distinction of diet vs lifestyle before, but I don’t know that I was really listening.  It’s kind of like the new trend, ya know?  Diets are bad.  Diets don’t work.  Everyone from Weight Watchers to Lifestyle Coaches are telling you that diets don’t work and that a diet isn’t the answer.  And, then they offer you their very nicely packaged “lifestyle”.  Well, I think it’s really just a matter of semantics for me.  I am not really embracing a new lifestyle.  I am starting a diet.  My goal is to lose weight and I think that the way I’m going to do that is by dieting - restricting my eating in some fashion in order to get the results that I want.  I also hold the belief that once I reach my goal weight, I’ll be able to eat what I want - in moderation.  That’s what “they” keep telling me any way.  And I’m pretty fed up (haha, funny metaphor).

I am realizing that it really is about embracing a lifestyle.  So, I am spending some time thinking about and journaling about who I want to be.  I’m am really looking deeply into that.  I’m asking myself who I am, who I want to be, what I want, what habits support being like this and what habits don’t.  I am looking at, instead of going on a diet, creating a structure for staying connected to who I am and who I am becoming and practicing the habits that support that and letting go of the habits that don’t.  Sounds easy, right?  So, let’s go.

I have a challenge today. I have a “Special Occasion” tonight. Now, I’m that girl who can make anything into a special occasion. For example, Tuesdays used to be special occasions in my house, because Tuesdays are Family Day and we would go to the movies or out to dinner or do something fun, which generally involved food. Seriously, some Tuesdays we just went out for an ice cream. Frankly, some Tuesdays we still do go out for an ice cream - only I don’t have one. One of the things that I used to tell myself is that it isn’t the “special occasions” that were ruining my diet, it was the daily habits. I still think that this is mostly true and I also don’t want to use that as an excuse to binge on my birthday, have dessert on Sunday, eat M&Ms at the movies on Tuesday or overindulge in any situation. I know that lasting health and weight loss comes from daily habits, weekly habits and monthly habits. If I have a habit of binging before my period every month, that’s going to affect my weight and my health.

So, here’s my challenge today. I have a real special occasion tonight, not a made up one. I am the chair-person of The Betty Ferguson Foundation’s Woman of Honor Dinner which happens tonight. I am not the Woman of Honor. If I was, I probably wouldn’t eat at all. I am one of the co-chairs and part of an amazing team of people that is putting on an incredible event to honor a really special woman, Dr Dianne Van Hook, who is an inspirational leader in our community. I am actually really nervous today. Most of the work is done, the tickets are sold (in fact, we are sold out), the auction items are (mostly) all in hand and ready to be set up and the speakers are prepared. My job today is to set up the auction, attend the dinner, thank everyone for coming and encourage them to give us a lot of money. The Betty Ferguson Foundation’s annual budget runs off of this event and provides scholarships for local women to go to college and provides support, training and education for the women and youth of our community. No pressure, right. Well, worst case scenario, we should do quite well. So, I should just relax. But, I can’t. And, when I’m nervous, I eat. I’m actually not eating now, so that’s good. I mean, I’m on my plan and not binging before the event. I tend to hold it together until afterward and then eat to “come down”. I am aware of this and I have plans to support myself in other ways. What ways? Gosh, I don’t really know. Watching movies, reading, going in the pool, taking a walk, maybe I’ll go to the beach for a couple of hours on Monday? I could get a massage or a facial. That sounds like a good idea. Okay, I’ll pay attention. I will use the “I want food” urge as an access point to get curious and start looking for what I really want and need. And I’ll blog.

I also have to admit that I’m a little worried about the actual event. It’s at a beautiful venue. I would love to enjoy a glass of champagne upon arrival - especially to help me relax. To be perfectly honest, I’d love a martini. Neither of these things are on my plan. I know the food is going to be fabulous. I’d love to have dessert. Perhaps, I’ll allow myself one bite if it looks really good and my friends can assure me that it’s worth it. Here’s the deal, though. I have some built in accountability. My husband will be with me and he doesn’t want to see me “blow it”. I will also be sitting with friends and among friends who really want to support me and my goals, especially this one. Part of me wants permission to “enjoy the evening” without worrying about my diet. And, part of me wants to rebel against any of the support I’ve set up for myself. And, part of me wants to stick to my plan. Yep! There’s a lot of noise in my head today.

So, I am - right this minute - considering what this event is really about and what’s most important to me. I know what this event is about and it’s not the food or the “adult beverages”. What matters most to me tonight is that everyone enjoys themselves and that we have a successful event. I want our honoree to feel over joyed and super special and, well, honored. I want our guests to fall in love with our organization and to love our event and to have a lovely, fun, inspirational evening. And, I want MY guests to have an amazing time. I want our volunteers to feel appreciated and seen and to also enjoy themselves. And I want to have fun! And this all seems like a lot to want and a lot of people to want to impress, appreciate, inspire and support, too. It actually sounds like a lot of work. I guess I’d better wear comfortable shoes, my open heart and a genuine smile. And, I bet this will all be a lot easier to manage without a martini in hand. Okay, I’m good. I’m off to start this crazy marathon. I’ll check and report back tomorrow.

I realize that I hardly ever talk about exercise. I allude to it and mention “my trainer”, but I haven’t really discussed my exercise plan here. I think it’s because my exercise is actually something that I feel like I have handled (with the help of a talented professional). It’s something that is easy and automatic for me. It is something that I forget is an essential part of my weight loss success.

About 12 years ago, I read a book called “Fit or Fat” by Covert Bailey. It struck a cord with me and I started exercising and I haven’t stopped since. I have exercised anywhere from 3 days a week for 30 minutes to 7 days a week for over an hour consistently for the last 12 years. I have tried a lot of different types of exercise including roller blading, walking, swimming, hiking, swing dancing, salsa, pole dancing, running, weight lifting, rowing, stair stepping, aerobics, yoga, pilates, kick boxing, ballet, etc. You get the picture. I have learned that it is more important to find something that I like to do than to do something that I dread. There are so many fun ways to stay fit.

I have also learned that exercise is really good for you and I like the way my body feels when I exercise and I don’t like the way my body feels when I don’t exercise. Over exercising can lead to injury - but this isn’t a problem that most of us are concerned about. I have learned that I can use exercise to affect my weight, but that I am not really willing to exercise enough to eat whatever I want, whenever I want. And, I also know that I can lose weight by dieting alone, but it’s harder and I don’t really like the way my body looks or feels as a result.

So, I have settled on taking advantage of the all of the best that’s available to me. I am eating well and exercising moderately under supervision. I work out with a personal trainer 3-5 days a week for an hour. We do moderate aerobic activities like walking, running, step aerobics, swimming, hula hooping and circuit training. We also do resistance training designed for weight loss - moderate weight bearing activities with bands, weights or my body. My trainer keeps my workouts fun and fresh and entertains me and educates me while we work out. She brings all the equipment and incorporates my dogs and kids into my workout as necessary. She really makes it easy and fun. My exercise is a huge part of my consistent weight loss success.

So, get out there and exercise! If you want to play with Tracey, give her a call:
Tracey Smith: 310-903-6585 or tracey.smbody@yahoo.com

Today is one of those days that I would have rather avoided the scale. Normally, I would choose to just skip this week and weigh in next week when I’m feeling like this. I had that big weight loss last week and I was thinking that I would probably even out a bit this week. I also haven’t been very good about weighing and measuring my food. I’m still making good, on plan choices, but I’m sure that there are times that I am eating more than 120 grams of protein for lunch. I also ate out 3 times last week and that is so much harder to control. Portions are bigger and it’s harder to control what happens to my food before it gets to me. For example, I ordered steak and asparagus at one restaurant and grilled talapia and asparagus at another. In both cases, the asparagus was generously dressed in butter and I ate it any way. In one case, there was also a side of grilled veggies that I picked through and enjoyed. I was at a potluck and the best choice I could make might have been to go hungry. Instead, I choose a piece of fried chicken and removed the skin and ate that. The salad already had dressing on it and I ate a little bit of that, too. I feel like I’m giving an accounting of my sins. I guess it wasn’t all that bad. I really was making pretty good choices under the circumstances. My trainer says, “It’s about progress, not perfection.” Well, I’ve been making progress and my choices continue to support my commitment. And, because I’m committed, I did get on the scale this morning. I was nervous and anxious. I don’t really feel thinner. But, imagine my surprise - I am thinner! I lost another 2 pounds this week. That’s a total of 35.2 pounds. Yay me!

Moderation in all things.  Isn’t that the sage advice that They (you know, the ubiquitous “they”) give us?  It seems like it’s the dieter’s mantra.  If I can drink only one glass of wine and have only 2 cookies on top of an otherwise healthy diet, then I will reach dieter’s nirvana - my ideal weight.  One piece of pizza and a salad.  One bite of cake at a birthday party.  A single scoop of ice cream.  Seriously folks, if I were “that kind of person” then I wouldn’t be in this mess.  I am many things, but for better or worse, I am not a moderate person.  My life goals are to be the best at what I do, to be excellent, to contribute mightily to mankind.  I have four kids, I have a degree in chemistry from UCLA, I have been married for 20 years, I live in an 8000 square foot home.  This is not moderation.  This is excessiveness, delivered.  I want a huge, excessive, abundant, extreme life.  If there’s a mountain to climb, I don’t want to climb to base camp.  I want to climb to the peak or not at all.  All or nothing.  All or nothing dieting.  All - a whole box of Girl Scout Cookies, a whole package of crackers, a block of cheese, a whole pint of Ben & Jerry’s (oh, don’t pretend you’ve never done it).  Nothing -no carbs, no cooked foods, no processed fats, no chemicals, no processed foods, no fat, etc.  Oh, I loved the fun fat-free days!  Bagels, marshmallows, pasta, fat-free everything.  I remember actually saying, “I don’t have a problem with sugar.  It’s fat that’s making me fat.  I can eat as much sugar as I want.”  Yeah, this is crazy thinking.  I’m a crazy thinker.  The only time I’ve had success on diets is when they are crazy and extreme.  Atkins worked great.  Raw foods worked great.  What I love about these diets is that I can eat as much as I want of some delicious foods.  All you can eat bacon and eggs.  Or all you can eat nuts and avocados.  Yes, I realize there’s a significant difference.  But, the theme was “an extreme, all you can eat diet.”  I never changed my eating patterns.  So, I am now on a new kind of extreme plan.  It’s extreme in the limited quantities and kinds of foods I can have.  It is extreme, but it is easy.  There is nothing that I can eat for free.  I can’t sit down and eat a head of lettuce if I’m looking to “fill up”.  I have to deal with what’s left.  It is the dealing with what’s left that I feel like is the real difference.  Feeling my feelings is extreme.  Not insulating myself against the realities of life is extreme.  I am noticing, in the absence of food, that moderation irritates me.  I am not a moderate person.  I am unwilling to tolerate mediocrity in my life.  It’s big.  It’s terrifying.  And I’m thrilled.