Posts Tagged ‘sexy’

I don’t drink coffee, but I’m thinking about starting.  I notice that my friends who drink coffee, in general, don’t really have a problem with over eating.  I might be making this up, but I am exploring the idea anyway.  One of my friends said, “Coffee is a cruel mistress.”  And, this makes me want it more.  What I love about coffee is really the culture and the experience.  It smells good, it feels good, there are special stores devoted to it, there are lots of different varieties, and there is special equipment and cool accessories for the preparation and consumption of coffee.  There is even a language that goes a long with it.  And people like to meet for it.  I think it would be better for my weight loss goals to meet people for coffee rather than for lunch.

Here’s the deal, though.  I don’t really like coffee and I don’t really need another vice to add to my already impressive list of vices.  And, I have to ask:  does coffee make me feel or contribute to me becoming sexy, healthy and happy?  Well, coffee is “sexy” and I know people who would definitely attach “happy” to their coffee, but nobody is even attempting to sell coffee as “healthy”.  In fact, most of my coffee loving friends are either trying to cut back on their coffee or they are throwing caution to the wind and drinking as much as they want before they have to cut back.  Ha ha, sort of like me and food.  It’s part of what I like about the “coffee conversation”.  I like to imagine that I could give up my struggle with food in exchange for this dance with coffee.

I just can’t bring myself to do it, though.  I’ve been flirting with the idea for a couple of months and I just can’t bring myself to drink a cup of coffee.  Essentially, it just doesn’t fit into my identity - it is incongruent with who I believe I am and what I believe I’m about.  One of my girlfriends would say, “It’s against my religion.”  Not literally, though.  I’m Catholic and coffee is an acceptable vice.  You need something to balance the whisky and wine ;).  And, since we’re on the subject now, I also notice that my coffee drinking friends are also the ones who enjoy wine on a more regular basis.  It is pretty basic physiology that if you take stimulants all morning, you might want/need/crave some depressants in the evening.  It’s an interesting connection that I’m not sure people are making.  I can and will make a lot of other connections between some of my current habits and overeating, too.  Just not today.

For today, I’ve decided that I’m not going to take up coffee.  I might change my mind tomorrow and I’m open to your opinion about it.  For today, I am drinking tea.  I’m loving Chai tea.  Yum!  It totally works and may be my newest guilty pleasure.

I’m sure you all remember my love and affection for Diet Coke.  Okay, addiction.  It’s the one thing that was on my 1st Personal Diet plan that I was allowed to have that made me feel like I was cheating.  It was my guilty pleasure that I got to indulge in every day.  Especially in the beginning, it was such a big deal because I wasn’t allowing myself to have Diet Coke for all the reasons that you’ve heard.  I know it’s bad for me, blah, blah, blah.  So, being able to include something that felt like a cheat was actually really helpful.

From a coaching perspective, I have recently explored this as being able to hold polarities or inconsistencies and include both sides of an idea.  It’s way better than denial of the “less popular” perspective.  Instead of denying that there is a part of me that wants to, loves to and longs to cheat on my diet, it is very helpful to include the idea - to find the gift in it and how it serves me.  It helps to explore what values are being honored and what values I have that need to be included in the journey that I am on.  Instead of trying to shift my values so that I honor my health and fitness over choice and freedom, I can find ways to honor choice and freedom at the same time as health and fitness.  Pretty cool!  And pretty effective!

And, today I am also embracing my sexy, happy, healthy body and looking for what she wants and needs.  And it makes me think about the fact that people who maintain their ideal weight, don’t drink Diet Coke (or eat diet food or go on diets or a lot of the other crazy things that I have been doing in order to attempt to reach my ideal weight).  So, today, I gave up Diet Coke again because skinny girls don’t drink Diet Coke, especially the skinny girl that I want to be.  I will indulge in other ways - like skinny girls do.  WWSG do?  What would skinny girls do?  I know - it’s  a little irreverent, especially on a Sunday.  And, I’m cool with being irreverant because it’s better than finding one more way to “sell my soul to the devil” in order to reach my ideal weight.

Weight loss is one of many goals that people have that are “end result” goals.  We want to get somewhere; we want to reach a goal.  The question that is really interesting to ask is “why?”  Normally, we want to lose weight, get rich, get out of debt, get married, have a baby, climb a mountain, become an ironman, stop smoking or whatever, not because we actually want that thing.  We really want how we think it will make us feel.  So ask yourself, how do you want to feel?

For me, I want to lose weight for a lot of reasons.  I want to feel confident, be proud of myself, like (or love) my body, feel sexy, feel attractive, feel fit, feel healthy.  These are some of the basics.  I could get more specific.  I could go into a lot more reasons.  But, this is basically how I want to feel.  Well, guess what?  I don’t actually have to lose weight to feel like that.  I have to change the way I live in order to feel like that.

Let’s take just one example.  I want to feel sexy.  Well, let’s see, I guess the oversized stretch pants with the little holes in the seams of the inner thighs are going to have to go.  I need to do things that make me feel sexy.  I feel sexy when I start my day with a shower and scrub with a fluffy sponge and body wash.  Shaving my legs makes me feel sexy.  Putting on lotion makes me feel sexy.  I also feel sexy when I take some time to style my hair and put on make up and jewelry.  What kind of underwear and bra I wear also contributes to whether I feel sexy or frumpy.  Wearing tight jeans, rather than those horrible stretch pants, also makes a difference.  Having a pedicure and wearing cute flip flops or strappy sandals is sexier than stuffing my feet into athletic shoes.  You see what I mean?  I didn’t have to lose weight in order to feel sexy.

This is just one example, though.  If I started looking at all the different ways I want to feel and what I need to do in order to feel them, I would make some changes in my life.  And, those changes actually lead to my goals.  BEing sexy, confident, healthy, fit, awake and in love with my body all lead me to having the body that I want, not the other way around.  So take a look at how you want to feel and start doing what you need to do in order to feel the way you want to feel.  And, watch your goals move effortlessly closer.